Shitless

   This is the 3rd time you've thrown up for the morning. In the pit of your stomach you have a bad feeling about this. But that just might be the Chinese food you had as a midnight snack last night. Never eat two day old leftovers especially if it's Chinese. That's it definitely. Food poisoning. "Food poisoning?" The little voice in your head snorts. You decide to ignore it. 
   You resolve you'll skip class today and head straight for the pharmacy. A quick shower and outfit change later and you're standing in front of the pharmacist, edgy and twitching because you believe the he's judging you, but really he could give less of shit, cause let's face it. A 65 year old pharmacist has pretty much seen it all. You purchase the pregnancy test. Actually you bought 10. So...tests.
    You're sitting now on the bathroom floor. It's cold and extremely wet. Your roommate never could quite master the act of moping up after her showers. Your shorts are soaked right through but you don't seem to notice. You throw up for the 10th time today. The test sits on the edge of the bathroom sink. What really is 2 minutes feels like an eternity. The alarm on your phone startles you and you jump. You're hardly ever afraid but today you're scared shitless. You slowly stand and make your way over to the sink. A thousand thoughts race through your mind and none of them make any sense. You close your eyes tightly and take a deep breath then slowly exhale. Here goes nothing. In fact, here goes everything. You take up the stick and stare at it.
    This is how your roommate finds you when she comes home from class; sitting on the toilet, staring at the stick. "Holy shit! Are you...?" She snatches it from your hand then lets out a sigh of relief. "Oh it's 1 line. You are so lucky." She places it back down on the sink. "Hey what's wrong with you? Shouldn't you be doing back flips or something right now? Hello?" She lets out an exasperated sigh and leaves the bathroom, shaking her head and mumbling something about white chicks are crazy.
    You sit there knowing she's right. You wonder if something really is wrong with you. Maybe you really are crazy. Because you can't quite seem to shake the little pang of disappointment in the pit of your stomach. You throw up for the 23rd time today.

In a Timing

There will come a time when we cease to exist.
I'll almost remember that time when we almost did that thing;
I'll forget all the bad times; all the arguments,
"We never used to fight"
I'll say fondly when someone asks of you.
I'll only remember your touch and your smile,
2 a.m conversations that ended in 5 a.m sex.
Or should I say love making.......
Was it really though...love?
It must have been.
Why else don't I remember all the bad times, all the arguments?
I only think of your wit and your off-table humor.
It must have been!
Because I remember long walks after hours to your place in the dark-
Corridor lights flickering on and off-
Blinds wide open for the world to see our silhouettes entangled Just like our hearts,
Or maybe just mine...
What was his name again?
Every time I'll have to try just a little harder to think what it was,
Dive a little deeper just to resurface with a picture of your face.

There will come a time when we cease to exist,
And at that time I'll call you perfect.