The Chase

If you're a teenager like I am, finding out what you want most from life can be pretty damn hard. Some of us know from the get-go that we want to be a lawyer, a doctor, a teacher; and then others (and I confess I'm a part of the latter) have a hard time settling on an actual career or degree to follow.

When I was younger I wanted to be a doctor for the longest time, then reality gave me a hard kick in the ass when I was in High/Secondary school and I was confronted by my mortal enemy...sciences. To say I suck at sciences would be equivalent to saying drugs are bad for you. Anything Maths related makes me cringe and my mind just literally shuts down and I freak. I've always been better with words so when I was about to take my CXCs (a Caribbean exam which enables you to get certification in certain subjects) I decided to try my hand at Business subjects. Easy right? Hated the shit out of it. Although I've never liked the idea of having a boss, I've never really thought about owning my own business and I just found business studies to be boring. That puts me up to 6th form (the last two years of High School basically) where I decided I'd try my hand at Law. I mean I was good with words, I loved debating things and Lawyers make a lot of money. Win win all around. For a while I thought I had finally found what I wanted to do. I loved learning Law at school. My teacher was really great and I understood it,  but then  I realised I didn't want to be a Lawyer. I could not see myself working late hours all day everyday for the rest of my life. I just couldn't.

Then it hit me. What I wanted to do. In 6th form I took up English Literature and it all clicked then. I got a 4 in Literature at CAPE which isn't a fail but it's not nearly the top either and you know what? I still loved it. It hurt so much that I didn't get a 1 but I still loved Literature lol And it made me realise that what I was good at had been staring at me all along. I always was at  the top of the class when it came to Literature and English since I was young. I was able to read before most kids when I was a child and my collection of books was kinda scary for someone my age lol (I say was because all of my books got thrown out some years ago with moving sigh) I always loved writing and I've been writing things since I was a little girl, whether it was stories,poems, my thoughts...I finally had a purpose and something to really strive for and that's when I started to put my all into learning. I intend on graduating with First Class Honors in Literature and that's my goal.

 I guess what my whole post is trying to say, is that it's okay to be lost. Nothing is wrong with you because you just can't figure out what you want to do. Some people know from the start and some people find their way, but find your way you will. That's as long as you keep trying of course. Never stop chasing what you want out of life even if you don't know what that is. Research and ask questions and do whatever you need to do to get shit done. It's going to be hard sometimes believe me, especially when everyone else around you seems like they have it together and you're barely keeping your head above water but never mind that. Keep striving.It'll be worth it in the end. Believe me.