Killer

Can you not?
I mean I don't want for you to be here
I took a look one time and fell
And then you were standing in front of me
I asked for your help
You laughed and smiled like I was playing
I wasn't

Instead you sank down next to me
Laid your head on my shoulder
Your residency was by my side
Lot No.17, Eleven 94 Drive

Can you please leave?
My heart struggles with my brain ever since you came
Demons haunt me in my sleep
And it's all your fault
Confused and alone I go crazy
But that's just it
I'm not alone; because you are here
I'm through with you
I tell myself to give up and focus,this isn't worth it
Then you grab my hand and caress me
And I'm back to where I started again
You on my shoulder and me hating myself

Why are you still here?
Because I let you of course
I convince myself that I don't need you but I do
You fuel me and push me to my best
I owe you one; you already know it
I can't survive without you but the poison is killing me
I change my name to hate because that's all I know now

Please stop
You're hurting me don't you see that?
A little of you is nice but please don't give me all of you
Stay with me okay?
I can't be myself without you now
You have consumed me until I cannot recognise myself

I stare at my hands the razor in my hand
I tear up as the blade dances across my wrists
You killed me
I love you
You place your arms around me and watch me bleed out
And I cling to you like I shouldn't
You smiled that same smile
The one when we first met
I slump to the floor,
You get up and leave
I watch you invite her in through closing eyes
The next one.